What is the effect of addiction on the family?

Addiction of any kind takes a tremendous toll on family members. Here are a few of the problems facing families living with addiction:

Absence and Inconsistency: As the addiction grows, the addict is increasingly absent from the family – physically and emotionally. Family members never know from moment to moment or day-to-day what condition the addict will be in. This causes anxiety. Family members may take on different tasks, or roles, in order to cope with the anxiety. Members may over function in an effort to make up for whatever the addict is taking from the family. They may try to “lighten the mood” by becoming silly or distract from the addiction by acting out in other ways. While these actions do help family members cope in the moment, they do nothing to address or resolve the problem. And, often, they become problems unto themselves.

Silence and Anger: Families living with addiction often conspire to “keep the secret,” as if doing so will make the problem go away. This silence is like shaking up a soda can – it will explode. Not talking becomes contagious, and members may stop talking to each other about almost everything. Family members may avoid each other out of fear that someone will bring it up. When they can’t stand the silence any longer, the explosion comes. The anger is taken out on anyone and anything – very misplaced and out of proportion to the event. These actions push family members away from each other at the very time that they need to be coming together to address the problems. Often, one or more family members is suffering from depression – another factor that contributes to isolation and feeling helpless to address the problems.

Embarrassment, Humiliation, and Shame: If you aren’t going to tell your friends about your Dad’s drinking problem, you certainly don’t want them seeing him passed out in the living room! Many kids with addicted parents avoid the home as much as possible – they are humiliated by their parent’s actions. Often, family members feel like this is the only family who has this problem (remember that silence problem??). The shame and the lack of communication keep family members from admitting the problem and, thus, getting help.

Legal and Financial Complications: Although not every family with addiction goes through DWI arrests or losing the house because Mom gambled away the mortgage money, there are often smaller complications in this area. This may look like suspension from school or being fired from a job because of addiction-related behaviors (repetitive sleeping in class or skipping classes, theft from employer to finance gambling, etc.), or the essentials being met (rent or mortgage) but no money for food due to it being spent on the addiction.

These are but a few of the “signs” that a family is struggling with an addicted loved one. If you recognize your family in these symptoms, break the silence and get help now.

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How do you know if a loved one is using drugs?

There are many clues that a loved one is drug involved. Any of these by itself should not be taken as evidence of drug use. If you can answer “yes” to 3 or more, you may want to consider drug use as the reason. Some of the signs to look for are:

1. Sudden changes in mood, attitudes, vocabulary, or interaction patters
2. Decline in attendance or performance at work or in school
3. Sudden and continuing resistance to discipline at home or in school
4. Significant changes (for the worse) in relationships with family members or friends
5. Unusual flares of temper
6. Increasingly borrowing money from family and friends
7. Money/items missing from the home, at school, or in the workplace (stealing)
8. Heightened secrecy about actions and possessions
9. Associating with a new group of friends, especially with those who use
10. Physical symptoms (red eyes, dilated or constricted pupils, sleepiness, chronic runny nose, scars or needle marks)
11. Keeping long hours away from home, especially at night and on weekends
12. Neglectful of personal health, unexplained medical symptoms
13. Sudden and continuing change in appearance and manner of dress, especially when contrasting to family patterns
14. Difficulty handling responsibilities

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What is drug addiction treatment?

Drug addiction treatment refers to any professional service for the purpose of overcoming drug abuse/dependency. Drug/Alcohol treatment runs from low intensity (outpatient treatment) to medium intensity (Intensive Outpatient or short term inpatient) to high intensity (long-term inpatient treatment). The level of intensity appropriate for a particular client depends on may factors, including motivation, legal involvement, previous attempts at treatment, family involvement, and medical and/or mental health issues (called co-occurring disorders).

Depending on the program, it may also involve a family component. In inpatient treatment, there is often a 3 – 7 day “family program” which educates families about addiction and identifies ways for family members to be helpful to their loved ones. In outpatient treatment, family involvement varies. It may take the form of individual/family sessions or group therapy where parents/spouses or other family members meet weekly to discuss the impact that the addiction has had on them and how they can change patterns of interaction to support recovery. Intervention is another form of family involvement.

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What does the program do about relapse?

The answer to this is really a treatment decision based on the particular client involved. For most clients, having a “slip” (a single use) after a period of sobriety is common. In this case, a treatment program may increase the treatment services for a short time. For example, if a client was coming only to a group, s/he may be required to come to individual counseling as well as the group for 6 – 12 weeks.

On the other hand, a client who repeatedly slips, more commonly called a relapse, may be in need of a higher level of care. In this case, a client who is in outpatient treatment may be referred to Intensive Outpatient or to a 28-day program.

All of these decisions are based on the needs of the particular client and, at JCA, are made following the recommendations of the Treatment Team.

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Does the program accept insurance?

JCS is reimbursed by most insurance companies as an out-of-network provider. The client is responsible for the difference between what their insurance pays and what our fees are. For example, if their insurance pays $25.00 for an individual session, the client would be responsible for $55.00 – the difference between the insurance payment and our $80 per session fee. If the client is unable to afford this, we have a sliding scale that may be accessed.

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Why can’t drug addicts quit on their own?

Some can. The problem is no one knows who will be in this category and who will need treatment – or multiple attempts at treatment. Some guidelines that may be helpful in answering this question are:

• How far along into the addiction is the person? Someone who is “experimenting” or “using recreationally” may be more successful at stopping on their own than someone who is physically or psychologically dependent on the chemicals.
• Does the person needs increasing amounts of the chemical to achieve the same result? If so, a physical dependence may have already developed.
• Are there complicating factors, such as a mental illness, significant environmental factors (death or other forms of loss, dangerously high stress levels, etc.)? The more complicating factors, the more difficult it is to give up the substances.

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How effective is drug addiction treatment?

We wish we could say that a certain type of treatment was always successful. Unfortunately, there is no magic when it comes to drug treatment. What we do know, based on research and experience, is that the more treatment services a person engages in and the longer these services are utilized, the more successful the treatment outcome. So, while AA/NA is good, AA/NA with counseling is better. While AA/NA with counseling for 3 months is good, for a year is better. Also, research suggests that family involvement in treatment increases the odds of long-term sobriety.

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How long does drug addiction treatment usually last?

That depends on the type of treatment. Outpatient treatment typically lasts for a year, although successful completion may range from 6 months to 2 or more years. Detoxification is 3 – 7 days. Short-term inpatient treatment is typically 21 – 30 days. Long-term inpatient treatment, often called residential treatment may be 3 – 12 months. There are forms of long-term treatment that may go 18 months or more.

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What helps people to stay in treatment?

There are lots of reasons that people get into treatment and/or stay in treatment. Often, it does not matter why they come into treatment. What’s more important is their willingness once they are here: willing to learn, willing to listen, willing to change. Some of the many reasons people get into or stay in treatment are: self-motivation (not the most common one by any means), threats of loss (spouse, job), having lost already, and legal charges. Many times, we hear, “I had two choices – recovery or death.”

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How can family and friends make a difference in the life of someone needing treatment?

Education, education, education. Learn what you can do that will make a positive difference. It cannot be said enough that what most people consider being “helpful” is really enabling the disease. Families and friends can and should offer emotional and moral support. They should offer encouragement. If you pay their rent or buy them food, then you are giving them a way out of facing the consequences of their behaviors. Learn to take care of yourself. Attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, or JACS-Anon groups. These self-help resources offer support and guidance on the best ways to not enable the disease.

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What is AIDS?

AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS, first recognized in 1981, is a life threatening condition that makes a person’s body unable to fight off disease. People become infected with AIDS because of their risky behavior, not because of who they are.

What causes AIDS?

AIDS is caused by the virus HIV, which attacks a person’s immune system. The immune system fights off disease, but HIV damages the immune system so that it is unable fight disease normally. Without the ability to fight disease, people get sick and die.

What is HIV?

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Most people with HIV will eventually develop AIDS. HIV weakens the immune system to the point that it has difficulty fighting off certain infections known as “opportunistic infections”, which could otherwise be fought off by a normal immune system. Today there are medications that can slow down the rate of the destruction of the body’s immune system and treat or cure the illnesses associated with AIDS.

How does someone become infected with HIV?

HIV is an acquired virus that enters your body through your blood stream. It is carried into the body through body fluids:

• Vaginal fluid
• Seminal fluid
• Blood
• Breast milk of an HIV/AIDS infected mother

How can one reduce the risk of getting HIV/AIDS?

You can protect yourself by using a latex condom properly each and every time you have sexual relations, including oral sex. It is also important to never share injection needles.

What are some ways one will not get HIV/AIDS?

You will not get HIV/AIDS by:

• Kissing, hugging or touching
• Using public restrooms, saunas, showers or pools
• Donating blood
• Touching the urine or sweat of an infected person
• Mosquito bites or bites from other bugs
• Sharing towels or clothing
• Sneezes or coughs
• Sharing eating utensils or drinks
• Touching, hugging or dry kissing a person with HIV/AIDS
• Being friends with a person who has HIV/AIDS

How can I get tested for HIV?

It is important to get tested at a location that also offers counseling about HIV/AIDS. Common locations include private physicians, local health departments, hospitals, and test sites set up specifically for HIV/AIDS. Click here for a list of testing centers in the Baltimore area.

I see that you are a part of Jewish Community Services. Do you only do programs for Jewish organizations?

No. We are part of Jewish Community Services, and we do a great deal of programming in Jewish organizations, focused on Jewish concepts. However, we are a non-sectarian program serving both public and private schools and organizations all over Central Maryland.

Where can I find a listing of your programs?

Click here to view our program catalog, Promoting Healthy Choices, Reducing Risky Behaviors. If you would like us to mail you a copy of our catalog, please call 410-843-7426.

What if I want a program that is a little different from the ones listed (i.e. I have a special population, or a particular angle I’d like to focus on)?

We’d be happy to talk to you about tailoring our programs to your needs. While our primary focus is on HIV and addiction prevention, our programs promote healthy decision making, reducing risky behaviors, self esteem, relationships, and decision-making. We are especially attuned to cultural and religious sensitivities and ensure that programs are age appropriate for each audience. See our catalog Promoting Health Choices, Reducing Risky Behaviors for our full range of program topics. We will be happy to work with you to format a program to meet the needs of your audience.

Do you charge schools and organizations a fee for your programs?

Yes, we charge a fee for our professional services. However, if your organization is unable to afford our full program fee, we will work with you to provide a program within your means.

How far in advance do I need to call to schedule a program?
Obviously, the further ahead you call, the more likely we will be able to accommodate your needs. However, we try to be very flexible and will do our best to fill your request whenever you contact us.