Liz Schoen, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Howard County Office

We baby boomers are aging.  You may have noticed:  our vision changes, our middles thicken, our faces sag, sleep becomes elusive, joints stiffen, hair thins.  We have hot flashes or we are cold all the time.  We gain weight no matter what.  The list goes on and on.

We are at a time in our lives when our self-image and identity may be shifting as our bodies and our roles in life begin to change.

Children grow up and leave to start their own lives.  We may be caring for our parents or may have become middle-aged orphans.  We become grandmothers, caregivers, widowed or divorced.

As we begin to redefine who we are inside, it can be natural to scrutinize our outer appearance, too, and fixate on the changes and signs of aging.

Every day we face ourselves in the mirror.  Many of us wish we had a different shape or size, a younger complexion, fewer wrinkles, more firmness here, less fat there.  Can we even remember when we last wore a bathing suit in public?  We may struggle to find clothes that fit and that are flattering or stylish.  We try to look more like some ideal image that doesn’t really exist.  It’s hard not to think this way when the media bombard us with pictures (sometimes doctored) of glamorous, young and thin models and celebrities. 

How do we value ourselves?  How do we face the challenges to feel good about ourselves as we age in a culture that puts so much value on youthfulness and how women look?

We know the advice and many of us try hard to follow it. Eat healthy food, exercise regularly, learn to meditate, spend time with friends, do something that you find meaningful and purposeful, pursue a hobby, stimulate your brain, practice gratitude.

There are role models for embracing this time in our lives.   Who are the strong, capable women in public life whom you admire because they are making the world a better place?  Look around: what about our own mothers and grandmothers, teachers and older mentors?

But perhaps the most important thing we can do about our body image is, finally, after so many years of resisting it, to accept ourselves as we are and as we change.  Our wrinkles, jowls, thick waistlines, grey hair are testaments to the lives we’ve lived, the babies we bore, the worries we carried, the million problems we solved, the meals we cooked, the love we gave and the selflessness with which we gave it.

By Lizbeth Schoen, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services in Howard County

To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles please visit our home page or call 410-466-9200.

Susan Kurlander, Health Educator, Prevention Education, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

“Summertime. . .and the living is easy” — or so thought my teenage daughter.  She planned to sleep until noon every day and then just hang out with friends during the summer of her junior year of high school.  It was a rude awakening for both of us when I realized I had never set down expectations for what she considered her free time, and she had never dreamt that I would have anything to say about her lack of constructive activity.  We were both remiss in our perspectives.  My sense is that is easy for many parents and their pre-teen and teenage children to fall into the same pattern.

Parents and kids alike need a break from the overscheduled days we have during the school year.  We need to catch our breath and enjoy things we don’t have time to do when we’re busy with so many obligations.  But if our teens don’t have goals to accomplish or activities to participate in, all that free time can lead to risky behaviors and unhealthy habits.  When parents aren’t around, how easy it can become for kids to engage in unrestricted computer use, to have easy access to medications including prescription drugs kept in the home, to indulge in abusing alcohol kept at home, or to watch R rated movies without parental supervision.

So, how do we help our teens find the balance between enjoying their newly found free time and accepting some responsibility to use that time in positive and non-harmful ways?

Communication and trust are key components to making summer a time of growth and appreciation of what we have.  Conversations about expectations need to start before summer arrives, with both parents and teens expressing their thoughts without being judged.  Remember, there can be lots of options for how the summer unfolds as long as it winds up being a time to rejoice, rejuvenate and regroup.

Even if your children attend camp, here are some suggestions for how their free time can be used positively and productively:

• Working at a summer job, even unpaid, can lead to new friendships and learning new skills.
• Volunteering at senior centers, the zoo, animal shelters, soup kitchens, etc. will look good on college resumes and applications.
• Attending a class or two can give students a jump start on deciding about a future college major.
• Planning a future fundraising project for a worthy cause might insure the success of that project.
• Participating in a recreational sport can help to develop the prowess needed to gain a place on the team in the fall.
• Here are some organizations to check out:

American Red Cross (Junior Red Cross) :  Help organize a blood drive or participate in knitting projects

The Ronald McDonald House : Collect pop tabs off aluminum cans to donate to the program.

Habitat for Humanity:  Help build homes for poor people in the community.

Meals on Wheels: Do craft activities such as making tray favors for delivered food.

Libraries : Plan a themed story time for toddlers; clean and sort books.

Congregations and schools: Many welcome student helpers to move books, sort materials, and clean up.

A “perk” of all these suggestions is that teens will be building self esteem and nurturing a sense of self worth that is critical for making healthy decisions about they do with their lives not just during the summer, but forever.

Parents can model finding a balance between free time and responsible use of time by  scheduling some time with family during the summer to do fun activities or by volunteering (which may turn out to be more fun that you might think, and could turn into a project that continues past the summer).  Maybe together you could pursue a website like ancestry.com as you figure out your family tree and history.

Whatever the activity is, encourage and expect your pre-teen or teenager to do something constructive as well as relaxing during those lazy summer days.  The combination of having fun and accomplishing something significant could give your child a whole new perspective on life.  Most importantly, your child’s time will be much less likely to engage in risky behavior when summer time is used fruitfully.

By Susan Kurlander, Health Educator, Prevention Education, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to parenttalk@jcsbaltimore.org.  For more information on parenting click here or call 410-466-9200.

Ilene Lewandowski, Human Resource Manager, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

When our company holds its annual open enrollment period for benefits, it always amazes me how many employees don’t want to go to the information meetings.  “I’m not changing anything,” some say, or “The meeting is too long and boring,” or “The information is too technical.”  By avoiding the meetings, they are missing out on so much information that is important to understand about what kinds of benefits are being offered to them, how these benefits work, what has changed and what’s new this year.  Simply by not paying attention, many employees are missing out on what could be for them a very nice package of health, wellness and insurance products.

Learning about benefits is not a one-time thing that happens when you are first hired.  It should be an ongoing process of education because the realities of the workplace are changing.  For example, this year your company may have chosen a different provider for medical or retirement benefits, or it may have expanded the benefits available to part-time workers.  Your current plan may be with your spouse’s provider.  By comparing it with what is now being offered, you may conclude that making a change will be advantageous.  Organizations offer their employees opportunities to learn about their benefits and ask questions.  It’s up to employees to take advantage of these chances to be educated so that they can make informed decisions.

It’s true that benefits meeting are very technical in nature. Going over eligibility and coverage with a variety of products usually has employees tuning out and missing important information about benefits such as Flexible Spending for health care or child care.  This is one of the last tax breaks for middle class families, and if your company offers it, you should seriously consider it.  By taking the money out of your wages pre-taxed, you are lowering your tax base. The money is then returned to you when you provide a receipt for the service. Health care flexible spending will also pay out the entire cost of a health bill before all the money is taken out of your salary. Because you pay through payroll deduction, you avoid a large, out of pocket health care expense.

Other benefits offered by some companies that employees may not even realize they have are an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and Long Term Disability (LTD). An EAP offers a discreet way for an employee to handle personal problems that may impact his or her work performance, or to get help with a family member’s issues.  EAPs are staffed independently by people who not employed by your employer, and they keep everything that is told to them in strictest confidence.  You need not worry about sharing your problems, and you can get some good advice. The LTD will pay a portion of your salary should you become disabled and unable to continue working.  Some companies offer a voluntary Short Term Disability (STD) that will cover you for three months with a portion of your salary if you are out of work.

Wellness is the newest area that many companies are embracing to hold down health care costs.  Free memberships to gyms are becoming popular, as are programs that are held on the work site to encourage employees to give up smoking or lose weight  Walking programs are encouraged, and contests for the biggest weight loss are helping to create a healthier work force.

Employees who take the time to learn the ins and outs of their benefit package can only help themselves and their families.  Taking advantage of all the benefit opportunities that may be afforded to you will enhance your home and work life.  So go to your benefits enrollment meetings, listen, ask questions, and do yourself a big favor by making educated decisions that will help you get the most out of your benefits

By Ilene Lewandowski, Human Resource Manager, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

To read “A Wake-up Call about Retirement Planning,” (Jan. 3, 2012), click here.

JCS offers a full range of career services.  For more information about JCS Career services click here or call 410-466-9200.

May is National Mental Health Month.  Did you know that a quarter of the adult population and one out of 8 children struggles with anxiety?

Ilene Federman, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Remember how it felt speaking in front of a large group, interviewing for a job or handing over the car keys to your 16 year old driver?  These are all examples of normal anxiety.  Anxiety is a part of everyday life and we all experience it.   It’s a biological reaction — the body’s way of telling us that something isn’t right.  Anxiety keeps us out of harm’s way and prepares us to take action in the face of danger.  But, if your sense of apprehension and worry becomes overwhelming and persistent, or if it interferes with your regular activities, making it impossible to function, it could mean you’ve moved beyond typical everyday stress responses and have developed an anxiety disorder.

If that is the case, rest assured that you are not alone.  Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health issues. One in four adults is affected at some point in their life.  And did you know that anxiety disorders tend to run in families and have a biological basis, similar to allergies or diabetes?  It’s also true that anxiety disorder symptoms tend to surface in times of physical or emotional stress, and can be triggered by personal and life events.

There are different types of anxiety disorders including:

• Panic/Agoraphobia:  repeated anxiety attacks that occur without any trigger, a fight or flight response where a person fears dying, going crazy or losing control
• Social Anxiety: excessive fear in social or performance situations;  a fear of humiliation
• Obsessive-compulsive:  unwanted thoughts, impulses or images and/or engaging in repetitive mental and behavioral acts
• Post-Traumatic Stress:  re-experiencing  a traumatic event and developing  a sense of victimization, defilement, loss of illusions, stuck memories
• Generalized anxiety: chronic and uncontrollable worry persistent in all kinds of situations
• Specific Phobia: excessive fear of a particular object or situation that may include avoidance of it

The good news is that most people with anxiety disorders can be helped by professional treatment, which may include medication, therapy or a combination of the two.  It is really important to seek help.  A mental health professional will help you understand and manage your anxiety so that you can regain your emotional and physical health and well-being.

One troubling part of anxiety disorders is that they significantly impact not only the individual affected, but also those close to him or her – especially family members.  They may struggle with understanding their loved one’s behavior and how it is affecting their relationships and functioning.   Family and friends are concerned, but often don’t know how to help.

If you are living with a loved one or know someone struggling with an anxiety disorder, here are some things you can do.

• Urge your loved one to seek therapeutic treatment.
• Remember that the person with an anxiety disorder is the authority on how he or she feels.
• Avoid discussing the troubling issue with your loved one.  Anything you suggest only increases the anxiety because the disorder blocks normal problem solving.
• Stay positive.  Don’t tell the person how he or she should behave, and don’t criticize the person for not being able to overcome the anxiety.  Remember that setbacks are part of the recovery process.
• Take care of your own feelings by getting help if you need it.  

Support and encouragement can help a person with an anxiety disorder to acknowledge the problem, reach out to a professional and begin treatment.  This is a process that takes time; it’s important to be realistic and to maintain hope.

Jewish Community Services qualified mental health professionals have expertise in diagnosing and treating anxiety disorders.  For more resources, visit the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) website http://www.adaa.org or  http://www.anxietyandstress.com.   To learn about Anxiety in Children, click here to read a blog by Myra Strassler, LCSW-C,  JCS Therapy Services.

By Ilene Federman, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Myra Strassler, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

All parents have the experience of seeing their children become anxious now and then.  It might be when they are facing their first day of school, taking a test, or learning a new skill.  A little mild anxiety is helpful in some situations;  it helps children anticipate what lies ahead.  They become motivated and more focused to prepare.

But sometimes a child’s anxiety becomes excessive and can negatively affect his or her behavior.  These children cannot be reassured and comforted.  Their anxiety overtakes them.  With childhood anxiety disorders affecting one in eight children, parents need help with differentiating normal anxiety from the more intense anxiety that can stall their child’s development.

How do you know if your child’s anxiety is excessive or problematic?

“Children who are anxious spend much more time feeling upset, and frequently find it hard to do things that are effortless for other children,” say psychologists Georgia DeGangi and Anne Kendall in “Effective Parenting for the Hard-To-Manage Child.”  “Some children worry so much that they work for hours on a task that should take only minutes to complete.   Some children may not want to leave their parents to go to school or to visit a friend.   Activities that used to be comfortable for them make them fearful.”

The following behaviors in children may be signs of anxiety, according to DeGangi and Kendall:

• Sleep disturbance, difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep
• Aches and pains, such as stomachache, headache, nausea
• Being extremely agitated or shut down and withdrawn
• Difficulty with concentrating
• Avoidance of something for no understandable reason
• Panic attacks, rapid breathing, sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, flushed face
• Clinginess

If any or all of these behaviors persist for a month and are interfering with family and peer relationships or school performance, your child may be suffering from a childhood anxiety disorder.  It is important not to ignore these signs because they are not likely to go away by themselves. This is the time to seek the assistance of a mental health professional.  According to the ADAA (Anxiety Disorders Association of America), children with untreated childhood anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences and engage in substance abuse. Childhood anxiety disorders can also be associated with depression in children.  Half the teens diagnosed with depression have a history of a childhood anxiety disorders.  Untreated, childhood anxiety disorders may result in long-term issues in adulthood.

Childhood anxiety disorders are treatable.     A child needs an adequate assessment, which will form the basis for any treatment.  At Jewish Community Services effective treatment for childhood anxiety disorders usually involves psychotherapy and, when indicated as necessary, an evaluation by our Board Certified Child Psychiatrist or a Certified Nurse Practitioner to determine whether medication would be beneficial.  Part of treatment often involves helping parents build a supportive network for their child and for themselves.

What can you do at home to help your child manage an anxiety disorder?  Here are some tips from the ADAA for parents and caregivers:

• Pay attention to your child’s feelings.
• Stay calm when your child becomes anxious about a situation or event.
• Don’t punish mistakes or lack of progress.
• Be flexible and try to maintain a normal routine.
• Modify expectations during stressful periods.
• Plan for transitions (for example, allow extra time in the morning if getting ready for school is difficult.)

Childhood anxiety disorder diagnoses are not a sign of poor parenting.   In many cases children are responding to environmental events.  Some children are anxious from the first years of life.  As described by DeGangi and Kendall, “They are born with a nervous system that is intense and that becomes agitated or shuts down easily.”  Often there is a family history of relatives who have struggled with anxiety.

As the people who know their children best, parents are in a unique position to recognize the warning signs of childhood anxiety disorder.  It is most important to consult a trained mental health professional experienced in diagnosing and treating childhood anxieties.   Parents can work in partnership with their child’s therapist to support and enhance their child’s learning to manage anxiety, and to find balance and wellbeing in their lives.

For more information:

http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children

“Effective Parenting for the Hard-To-Manage Child: A Skills-Based Book,” by Georgia DeGangi and Anne Kendall, Routledge, 2008.

By Myra Strassler, LCSW-C, Therapy Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to parenttalk@jcsbaltimore.org.  For more information on parenting click here or call 410-466-9200.

Faye Katz, Resume Writer, Career Services, Jewish Community Services

Although change in progressive companies is an inevitable reality, often bringing new opportunities and growth, many employees find change uncomfortable.  Dealing with the unknowns of change can catch employees off guard.  Whether it is a change in management, software systems, location, policies, procedures, mergers or acquisitions, employees need one vital ingredient for success: a positive attitude.

Reminiscing about the good ole days is not beneficial. Old rules and “the way things used to be” are replaced with new rules and “this is the way it is going to be from now on.”  If you are open to accepting change, you will transition into your new reality much more easily.

Management wants and needs employees who will eagerly implement their decisions. Resistance and a negative attitude towards change lowers morale and decreases productivity.  No one likes a naysayer; consistent negativity makes you a likely candidate for termination.  Instead, wait patiently to voice your opinion, and offer it only when it is sought out.

During mergers and acquisitions, it is important to make yourself as versatile and flexible as possible.  If your position becomes obsolete, let management know about other capabilities and skills you have.  Promote yourself as an asset to the organization, even if your position overlaps with another employee’s job description.

Technology is a fact of life.  You may find it challenging when your organization implements new technology or software, yet resisting new systems may cost you your job.  Transform your attitude and be thankful that your employer is willing to train you in new skills, which can only enhance your career.

In today’s tight job market, be grateful that you have a job and get on board with changes as quickly as possible.   View change as an opportunity to grow, meet new people or learn new skills.  Display confidence and alacrity to perform whatever management deems necessary.

Change in the workplace can be perceived as challenging or threatening.  But after the initial trepidation, many people accept the changes and find they are for the better.  If you embrace change with enthusiasm, excitement and a positive attitude, many new opportunities will present themselves, and you will be a productive and valued employee.

By Faye Katz, Resume Writer, Career Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

JCS offers a full range of career services.  For more information about JCS Career services click here or call 410-466-9200.

By Karen Schloss, Volunteer Coordinator

Karen Schloss, Volunteer Coordinator, Big Brother Big Sister Matches, Volunteer Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore

National Volunteer Week (April 15 – 21) is a great opportunity to recognize the people of all ages who generously give their time, compassion and commitment to help others in their communities.  This week was established to focus attention on the power of people to create positive change.  Here in Baltimore, over 320 Jewish Community Services volunteers are devoting their energy and skills in a wide variety of roles.  In their own words, here’s what they’re sharing about their volunteer experiences:

Big Brother Stephen Turett: “I wanted to do something I thought might make a difference in a young person’s life — and have fun doing it.  I needed something that required no special expertise or particular skill, where I could make a contribution of time and be able to share experiences, provide advice and encouragement, serve as a sounding board and be a role model.  Becoming a Big Brother has been a perfect fit.  How often do you get the opportunity to influence a life or help craft a spirit?  It’s incredibly fulfilling to contribute to the personal growth and development of a young person and watch him mature into a more responsible and thoughtful individual.”

Mitzvah Mobility Scheduler Gigi Bormel: “After retiring, I knew that I wanted to volunteer at JCS because they had helped a member of my family.  Schedulers review and organize the 100+ Mitzvah Mobility requests emailed monthly to the Volunteer mailbox by JCS social workers and service coordinators for transportation of clients to important appointments.  I call many of our 49 Mitzvah Mobility volunteer drivers to schedule the 25-35 escorted drives of clients to hospitals and medical offices that they complete weekly.  I love the people I work with; JCS is like a second home to me.  It makes me feel good to realize that JCS clients stay independent with Mitzvah Mobility services.”

Tutor Lloyd Mailman:   “A Jewish Legal Services volunteer and a retired attorney, I am enjoying my first teaching experiences as a JCS Career Services tutor.  Whether it is encouraging conversation with a former Israeli paratrooper, or helping a Ukrainian born student learn that she can gain accreditation based on her early education, I am learning from the students’ life experiences.  The fact that they have made progress with their English skills encourages me to continue my tutoring efforts.”

Friendly Visitor David M. Slotnick:  “I heard about JCS from Rabbi Azriel, assistant Rabbi to the late Rabbi Murray Saltzman of Baltimore Hebrew Congregation.  Rabbi Azriel guided me to Jewish Family Services, an organization I was already familiar with.  As proprietor of Chez Chocolate, I had made several candy donations during the holidays to JFS.  However, after I sold the business, I found that I had a good amount of free time and decided to volunteer as a Friendly Visitor for JFS and then continuing with JCS.  My first assignment was to an elderly man with dementia.  My second connection has stretched over a twenty-five year period.   This client and I have spent the last twenty-two years going out for dinner at Miller’s Delicatessen, and then on to Friday night services at Baltimore Hebrew Congregation.  I feel I have given him back his Jewish identity, and with it given him a reason to improve his self esteem.”

Centerpieces for Tzedakah and Shopper Volunteer Shirley Braverman: “I used to accompany a dear friend to JCS while she helped in the Business office.   I started to inquire about other available volunteer activities.  I helped an elderly gentleman client with grocery shopping.  He couldn’t speak English and my Yiddish left much to be desired, but we managed to get through to each other.  I looked forward to our weekly meetings.  I think I got more out of it—he is such a brilliant man.  I no longer see him on a regular basis, but speak to him through his daughter and get together occasionally for lunch.  I began helping with Centerpieces for Tzedakah, which JCS rents out for special occasions, with the proceeds supporting the Jewish Community Food Fund.  Now I look forward to creating centerpieces with a lovely group of women, so it is both social and gratifying to see the finished products.”

This year, JCS volunteers provided approximately 12,000 hours valued at $275,000.  Our volunteers’ reasons for becoming involved may vary, but their dedication and care provide huge rewards, both for themselves and for many members of our community whom they help.

Right now, JCS especially needs Big Brothers and Big Sisters to mentor Jewish children and Special Connections volunteers to socialize with adults in our community who have special needs.  If you would like to learn more about these volunteer opportunities and others, please call 410-466-9200 or visit www.jcsbaltimore.org/volunteer.

For tips about how to find the volunteer activity that is right for you, click here to read “Reaping the Rewards of Volunteering,” a blog by Katie Cohen, Outreach Coordinator, JCS Volunteer Services.

By Karen Schloss, Volunteer Coordinator, Big Brother Big Sister Matches, Volunteer Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

To learn more about how JCS can help you solve life’s puzzles please visit our home page or call 410-466-9200.

Bryan Kraus, Guest Blogger for Jewish Community Services

The process of growing up, and what the psychologists call individuating from one’s parents, is usually not an easy one. We go from being completely dependent to independent, from being part of a whole to being individual agents in and of ourselves.  I do not consider myself an expert on this topic; there are far too many types of people and family situations that are out of the scope of my life experience. Yet being a 20-something who has lived away from my parents for a few years now, I do have a few thoughts on what young adults need most from their parents.

As I was thinking about 20-somethings out of college and on their own for the first time, the image of acrobatic performer doing tricks above a safety net kept popping into my mind.  As young adults attempting our first feats of financial, emotional, and geographical independence, we need plenty of space to find our way.  It’s just not the same taking those leaps into adulthood in an overly secure environment.

Sometimes novice acrobats may slip a little while in the air.  It’s scary for everyone when this happens because they are up there on their own.  For young adults, slipping up is an unavoidable part of our learning process. In these times, wise counsel from one’s parents can and does go a long way. However, there are always those times and situations when advice is either not given, or simply cannot be heard.

When such instances occur in my own life, my parents usually chime in with all sorts of advice. The strange thing is that while I deeply value listening to their 50+ years of life experience, it can sometimes be challenging to actually hear it. This is because my need to have my own life experiences, and not theirs, feels greater than not “messing up.” As young adults we have been hearing our parents’ ideas and guidance our entire lives. We really need to hear the ideas of others and to form our own.

At the same time, along with the space to explore, young adults also need the safety net of our parents’ loving support and presence. When I was 20 and barely out of the house, more than anything I wanted complete freedom to discover the world for myself. Now at 27 I look back and see that while my desire for freedom was legitimate, I also needed those reality checks from my parents. Their guidance helped me find the best way to go about finding that freedom I was looking for.

Although it can seem paradoxical at times, as young adults we need both space and guidance from our parents. I find there is a subtle distinction that should be made between what young adults want from their parents and what they need. Sometimes we want complete freedom but need some guidance. Other times we want constant support but need to figure things out for ourselves.

It’s a tricky time for both parents and their 20-something kids’ relationships. The tried and true parent/child patterns of interaction are still relevant and to some degree needed. At the same time the relationship is switching paradigms to one that’s based less on dependency and more on a mutual loving friendship between adults.

By Bryan Kraus, Guest Blogger for Jewish Community Services

Questions about parenting?  Send an email to parenttalk@jcsbaltimore.org.  For more information on parenting click here or call 410-466-9200.

Lauren Schipper, Career Coach, Career Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Occasionally we look back at times in our lives and say to ourselves, “Wow, I wish I had known to do that!” Often though, we enter new chapters of our lives without knowing these lessons. This is something that young adults are confronting more frequently when they begin college and are faced with the questions: “What are you going to college for, and what is your plan after graduation?” While it is difficult to land your dream job right after college, there are key things you can do during those four years that will give you a better chance of finding a job that will jump start your career.

• Get to know a professor or advisor. Academic advisors and professors have office hours for a reason, so don’t be afraid to use them. Even if you aren’t struggling in your classes, you can use this time to your advantage. A day will come when you need a letter of recommendation, either for your first job or for graduate school.  Developing a professional relationship with a professor or advisor who can truly evaluate your work ethic and intelligence will give you an advantage over other applicants.
• Apply for internships. Remember that an internship is meant for more than college credits; it’s a chance to get entry-level experience. If you are undecided about what specific career path you want to take, apply for an internship — or even two — during college that encompasses job duties or assignments that interest you. This will give you the opportunity to have a generalized idea of what a full time job in that respective field would be like.
• Choose electives wisely. When the time comes for choosing electives, avoid choosing the “easy A” elective. Select electives based on which ones are most relevant to your future career plans and those that will provide you with education your general courses do not. For example, if you’re a business major and you have an interest in working internationally, choose an elective that focuses on international business.
• Get some work and/or volunteer experience. Many of your first after-college employers will understand that it is difficult to work during college. However, they will want to see what you have to offer beyond your grade point average. If you can’t find the time to work during college, take advantage of volunteering. Volunteer work is typically flexible around your schedule and is a great way to obtain entry-level experience, in addition to references that you can use after graduation.
• Learn how to write a professional resume and a cover letter. Any potential employer will want to see your resume.  Although it may be short, you can present your education, skills and experience to date in a professional way.  A good cover letter can really make you stand out from other applicants for a job or an internship.  Take advantage of resources on campus such as the Career Center, or make an appointment with a Resume Writer or Career Coach at JCS, to get some guidance on preparing effective resumes and cover letters.

Many young adults will find it difficult at the beginning of college to see past the freedom, the new friendships and the opportunity to explore new adventures. However, keep in mind that you’re in college for a reason: to further your education and prepare yourself for a fulfilling career.  Although it takes work, you can always be ahead of the competition by taking advantage of the opportunities during college that will lead you to where you want to go.

By Lauren Schipper, Career Coach, Career Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

JCS offers a full range of career services.  For more information about JCS Career services click here or call 410-466-9200.

Tracey Paliath, Esq., Director, Economic Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

Before joining the staff at JCS, I spent a couple of years as a hiring manager at a midsize company here in Baltimore.  That job taught me a couple of things:  First, when you apply for a job, you must have an error-free resume (I routinely eliminated candidates with spelling mistakes in their resumes) and a cover letter that makes the case for why I should hire you (I never interviewed candidates who failed to include a personalized cover letter with their resume).  Second, even well-qualified candidates, who were selected over hundreds of others to interview for a single open position, often made the same basic mistakes in the interview that cost them the job.

Here is a list of “Top 5 Commonly-Overlooked Mistakes People Make on Interviews,” based on my actual experiences with candidates.  Although some of these tips may appear to address “small” issues, I can assure you that these are not insignificant to the employers who interview you.  All the examples used are things that several candidates really did or said on interviews that doomed their chances of getting the job.

1. Don’t ask for coffee.  Don’t even take a glass of water that you are offered unless you really need it.  Asking for coffee looks presumptuous, and communicates the idea that you expect customer service from the very people you are hoping to convince to hire you.  If there’s no coffee ready, or if they don’t have the fat-free milk you requested, the conversation becomes strained and you will be seen as “demanding.”  Even more importantly, drinks spill – it’s a fact of life.  And when you are nervous (as most people are during an interview), your hands get a little shaky, or you make a gesture to emphasize a point and – BAM! – liquid all over you, the interviewer, the interviewer’s stack of papers, etc.  How can you focus on answering questions and ace this interview if you’re sitting there with a wet shirt? The flow of the conversation will never recover.   Yes, you are human and it was a mistake, but why take the risk?  And by the way, don’t bring in your own water bottle and drink from it – not only can the bottle tip over when the cap is off, but water bottles do not project a professional image, which leaves the interviewer wondering if you are taking this interview seriously.

 

2. Don’t talk on your cell phone while you are waiting in the reception area.  The receptionist hears everything, and she will report back anything you say that she finds questionable or unprofessional.  You might not think anything you say is inappropriate, but it doesn’t matter what you think; what matters is what the receptionist and hiring manager think.  If they think you have shown poor judgment based on the one side of telephone conversation that they hear, you will not get the job.  Nobody who is interviewing you should know that you are angry with your spouse or having a health issue, that your child care arrangements aren’t working out, or that your teenager did something very stupid last weekend for which he is now grounded.  Silence your cellphone before you even walk into the office so that it doesn’t ring before or during the interview.

 

 

3. Don’t negotiate the terms of the job before you even know if you are going to get it. Don’t request accommodations to pick up children from school by a certain time each day.  Just ask what the hours are and if there is flexibility.  If you get the job, then you can say “I remember you said there could be some flexibility in the hours.  Would you be open to my starting the work day a half hour earlier?”   Don’t try to negotiate a salary, either.  It’s fine to ask if there is a salary range established for the position, but don’t say “I need $60,000 and I think my credentials are worth it.”  Employers are much more willing to pay extra for someone who they see as solving a need they have, so show them you are that person and then talk about salary!   (For more on how to negotiate salary, click here for a blog by JCS Career Services’ Debora Weisbacher).

    

 

4. Look prepared! The employer figures you are at your best at an interview because you want to demonstrate that you want the job.  Whether you think it’s fair or not, employers make assumptions about your work habits and abilities based on what you do in an interview.   Didn’t bring your resume with you?  How will the interviewer trust that you will remember to bring important documents to an important client meeting?  Ignoring sections on an employment application, such as your GPA in college or salary range?  The employer assumes that you either have something to hide or that you can’t follow directions.  The job will go to the person who filled out the application completely and then wrote additional explanatory information, or who took the opportunity during the interview to explain something she wrote on the application.  If the employer asks a question, you will not be hired without giving an answer, and the hiring manager is not going to spend time chasing you down to get it.

    

 

5. Ask questions about the job and the company you are interviewing with, not just questions about the salary and benefits package and when you’ll hear back.  You need to make the interviewer believe that you care about the company and want to know how you can fit in and be helpful.  If you ask only about things of interest to you, then you are not presenting yourself as part of the solution.

 

Here’s the bottom line:  the minute you leave your house for an interview, you are “on stage.”  Drive responsibly and nicely and don’t be rushed; the person you cut off in traffic because you are running late may be the one you will be sitting across from for the interview an hour later!  You never know who you’ll come across in a parking garage, elevator, or lobby who may have the hiring manager’s ear, so treat everyone like they could be “the one” making the decision.  That includes administrative assistants and receptionists who often are the gatekeepers. A cordial “Good morning, how are you?” goes a long way to creating a positive impression.  But don’t try to be pals with them or ask a lot of questions. Remember they are professionals who have work to do.   No matter what the outcome of the interview is, treating everyone with kindness and respect will make you feel like a winner.

By Tracey Paliath, Esq., Director, Economic Services, Jewish Community Services, Baltimore, MD

JCS offers a full range of career services.  For more information about JCS Career services click here or call 410-466-9200.